Fiction is Not Helping Me

I know I am all about how great fiction is since people don’t have to die and there can be a happily ever after. LOL, I just thought back to a college English class where my professor asked why I cried on a movie and I said, “because people were dying.” He said, “no they weren’t. It’s a movie. They collected their paycheck and went home.” The girl sitting next to me told him he was killing the romance, but I had to laugh because he was right. Why do we cry on fictional movies and books? Why do we fall in love with fictional characters? These things are not real, they’re made up stories and the people playing these fictional characters are not dying in real life. Still, I cry. I don’t have time for television now but when I do catch a show (NCIS, Criminal Minds) online with my mother I find sometimes I’m silently trying to wipe away tears. Am I human or just an emotional basket case?

Literature Water buckets

glasses-983947_1920 (2)This brings me to emotional conflicts with books. You see I usually don’t cry on fictional books the way I do with movies. In fact, I’ve only really cried on books when I was writing an emotional scene and that has only been two books–When the Heart Breaks and Red Noon. But I did feel a jarring impact when reading The Rainbow when the leading man…um…stop reading now and skip to the next paragraph if you haven’t read the book but want to…Now, as I was saying I felt that moment of sadness when the leading man in the book died. I mean he was the only character I connected with. I didn’t care about the women. I couldn’t stand any of them. I think the problem with this book is that I emotionally connected to the leading man; not that I wanted to marry him, just that I could relate to a few of the things he went through. But I also think the character was written in a way that made me want to pull for him to have that happily ever after. I didn’t cry, but it was the first time I walked away from a fictional book for like a week trying to force myself to finish it.

Real Life Not Fiction

In real life I’ve noticed an attraction to the kind of man that’s not really on my list of don’ts because I don’t have a real list of that I guess, but I did say I wouldn’t date a guy in three professions…kind of said that anyway but never really voiced it or cast it in stone or anything. Well, lately I have been finding I am oddly attracted to men in two of the professions I kind of told myself not to date. Uh oh.

Is fiction setting up this unimaginable and impractical attraction thing for me? I don’t think so because it’s not like I just started reading books yesterday you know. But I think like most humans life changes as we grow and sometimes the things we tried not to want are the very things we have a hard time pretending we don’t want.

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Either which way it goes, no matter where you’re at in your life just remember to breathe. Tomorrow is always a new day and a box of Puffs is just a store run away.

Stay Healthy


Give Me Fiction

A depressing kickoff to the morning…well not the kickoff since I was up for a good four hours before the stroke of depression tasks started.

We all know the people in our lives won’t be there forever. Only a person trapped in the world of delusion would think family and friends will survive forever. But knowing doesn’t mean one wants to constantly be reminded that death is an ending (or a beginning) just waiting for you to cross the threshold.

This morning my mother, once again, gave me the “I won’t be here forever” reminder when she asked me to help her do research on some things, and when she told me we would have to sit down and get things together and really talk about “this” as if we haven’t talked about it before. But had we?

sad woman 1We had talked about it but never in so much of a “help me plan” type request as she gave me this morning. I know what her wishes are. I know her will is in place as I did mine at the same time she did hers, but that doesn’t mean I want to have to think of her leaving me.

Sadly, the selfish side of me wants to die before my parents. They are, in my heart and in my mind, my only family. Yes, I have a brother and a sister, and a half brother, but I am not close to any of them. They moved, they never call and over the years, with my moving too, I just accepted the fact that not all families are the Swiss Family Robinson type and I’m okay with that. But my parents, they are the heart of me and I hate death conversations no matter how real I know they are. I could, really die before both of them but I also know that no parent wants to say that final goodbye to their child so it is selfish of me to wish to spare my pain by wishing I could go before both of them, but I guess I’m selfish because I do really wish that.

I love fiction because in fiction everybody can live, even the bad guys, if you want them to. But in reality death is an inevitable fate, a promise that if you were born into this world you will leave it one day.

I miss being a child. Life was so much simpler when my biggest fears were sunflowers and heights.

Stay Healthy

Don’t Have—Must Want

I find sometimes that what people don’t have they want. I guess I’m guilty of this sometimes too. Especially right now with a few things.

It’s not a surprise that I like making dresses—love actually. I think I have always been a dress person, and skirts came second. I was never a huge fan of pants but could totally go for jeans and then sometimes pants. Fast forward many years and I fell in fashionable love with tights (leggings). When I’m in work mode around the house (writing work, knitting or sewing) I tend to go for my tights with the zipper at the bottom (found at WalMart a while back) and in the winter I go for a sweater while in the summer I go for one of my shirts that is far too big for me so it slouches off my shoulder even though it shouldn’t. It’s a comfortable, yet stylish, side of fashion for me even when it’s really a dressed down look. Although many days you’ll find me in a dress even when cleaning the house. I love dresses.

I want more tights but I tend to stay away from anything that will make my thighs look bigger than what they are. My mother wanted bigger legs like mine and I wanted smaller legs like the way hers were in all those old photos. Well smaller thighs anyway. I’m also leaning towards more casual shirts that I don’t have right now but want.

After watching this video I thought thrift shop would be a good run when I have the money to try it. I always donate, but rarely go in to see what they have. Of course if I had a boyfriend I could just go to his house and steal borrow (without giving back) his shirts :).

Maybe the next time I have disposable money (as in when I’m not paying back the student loan) I will head to the thrift shop and see if I see any shirts I want to buy.

How has your casual sense of fashion changed over the years?

The Fashionista

I checked out Glasses USA for the first time and I decided to do the finding the right frames question and answer one based on personality. I am not planning to buy right now but somebody mentioned they have a sale right now and the price discussed was pretty good so I wanted to see what they had by way of frames.

I skipped some questions because the answers just didn’t fit me. There were nine questions and once I finished it took me to the page with my suggested glass frames. I, in my rush to see the frames, completely rushed past the writing at the top and went down to the glasses. The first pair I liked was a mixed blue pair. I went through a few more pages and saw a burgundy pair I liked. The shape of the frame is close to the shape I already wear and I passed over ones with circular frames. I guess I’m over circular frames since I didn’t spend time looking at those.

By page four I noticed that the writing I passed over was actually my results for the personality questions. I decided to read it and realized it’s accurate. I don’t follow trends. I do dress my best, and everything else was a “wow, how did they get it like 100% accurate,” type thing. I am a Fashionista in personality—yep, that sounds right.

Anyway, when I first logged onto the site it had something about getting a 50% off coupon emailed to me but I didn’t fill that out because I really cannot buy glasses right now, but if you are looking for glasses then maybe checking out the Glasses USA site will be good for you.

Stay Fashionably Beautiful

Mother-Daughter Education

Talking with my mother is usually enlightening–if I listen :).

She has been telling me this for a long time (especially since I transitioned from relaxed) and I knew she was right but you know I was relaxed for so long and I had mastered the art of taking care of my hair so natural was not really a mystery to me, but something different that needed something different done.

I should have listened to my mom. She said it time and time again but there I was thinking, ‘no, it must be something different,’ and off on my search for something different I went.

Childhood Memories

Soft Yellow Rose

When I was growing up my mom always did my hair. She always put grease on my scalp and you know my scalp liked it. My hair grew thick, long and healthy just fine. If it’s not broke, as they say, don’t fix it.

I decided I want to go back to the “old school” techniques that women older, wiser and far more experienced than me did.

So what stays, what changes and what goes?

What Stays

  1. The inversion method stays because that did work for me. I don’t know how long I will do it, but I know I’m planning to do it this month at least.
  2. Deep conditioning (that never went away for me).
  3. My oils that I made for myself stay because I like how they feel in my hair and how my hair does with them.
  4. Scalp massage because I like doing them sometimes.

What Changes

  1. I’m putting shampoo back into my routine more often than just co-wash.
  2. I’m going back to once a week wash with the possibility of every two weeks. I liked washing my hair nearly every day but I think 1-2 times a week will do for now. Every 2 weeks worked fine for my hair in the winter when I was a child so if I need to do every 2 weeks in the winter my hair will survive just fine.
  3. Grease–I’m looking to find what my mom used when I was a child…I don’t know that I can do that, but I shall look for it when I can.
  4. More conditioner pre-washing simply because I find it works well for my hair and I don’t always do it right now.

What Goes

  1. Hair challenges.–It’s not that I think little of them it’s just I’m fine without them. I thought of doing the one that starts tomorrow but I already eat healthy, drink smoothies every day, take care of my hair and it’s in protective styles often anyway so I’m just going to do the me that is me.
  2. Stop going in for so many products that I end up not using anyway.
  3. Listening to others who don’t know me or my hair. My mom has years of experience with my hair and she has never let me down so I’m listening to my mom and adding a little bit of me along the way.

Ultimately I think I just have to do what has always worked for me. Sometimes mothers really do know best.

For those of you relaxed or natural, what hair decisions have you had to make along the path to healthy hair?

Stay Beautiful. Stay Healthy.

Yoga Combo

These workouts can be done on their own or combined with another cardio workout. I went for a three mile walk later that morning but I did these first, while it was still dark outside.


Love Handles

Leaner Legs

It could all be in my head but I think I see the difference in my legs when I do the Leaner Legs yoga workout. Maybe it’s wishful thinking but I like the workout anyway :).

I had planned to carry out the week doing the cardio yoga workout Part I and II, doing the arms and back and as always–abs wile rotating the legs workouts. I am working on some things for my body that I hope to see shape up as desired this year. Of course I unexpectedly got sick. I know, who plans that stuff right? But it was unexpected. I don’t remember being around anybody sick so I am not sure how I got sick.

Sick or not, tomorrow I’m getting back to yoga. I’m also going to have to plan out the meals for the day. I’m vegetarian and went fully vegetarian a while ago but I still cooked pescetarian for my mom. Well, now she’s decided to go full vegetarian so now I have to make sure I cook enough for both of us but also take into consideration her health needs too.

I love nutrition and research on topics related to it so I think this will be fun for me. I have already spent a lot of time researching over the years (a lot of years) so it’s like going back to what I love to do but for somebody else this time instead of me. Keeping Mom healthy–that’s my mission and I accept :).

Stay Healthy

Love Yourself and Your Hair

I’m going to start with hair first because it’s the video I saw before the other one.

Hair Challenge

Vegetable BasketThere is another hair challenge going on. I guess maybe these things must go on a lot, but I was not familiar with them until I did the first one.

This challenge is for 6 months. I might do it because it pretty much involves the things I already do now so it’s not going to be that out of character for me. I don’t do the vitamins, and I do use tools sometimes,  but most of the other things are on point. I will not cut out what I do already if I decide to do this challenge and I will probably start a little early because it’s very close to what I already do anyway.

You can watch the video and decide if you might be interested in jumping in for the challenge this time.

Love Yourself

I liked this video. It is a reminder to just be you and not focus on trying to be who other people are (or who they want you to be). I can see her point. You never know what somebody’s life is like so why envy them?

Anyway, those are the two videos I watched yesterday while going online to research DNA…yes, I get distracted sometimes but I did do the DNA research too.

Stay Healthy. Stay Beautiful.

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Is My Life Really That Boring

It seems everybody has those nifty planners now days (well not everybody). I bought a planner that was cute with little butterflies and it was cheap (thank goodness since I never used it). I even have an electronic planner attached to a gadget my mom bought me. I filled it out with the usual working on writing, working out, doing cello practice and other required daily things. I filled it out for an indefinite time and you know what–I haven’t turned the thing on since.

I don’t know. My days are pretty much the same. Get up, workout, shower, do language studies (I am so not good at Irish by the way), start working on writing stuff, cook, clean and practice cello. That’s about the gist of my every day schedule minus any things that pop up unexpectedly (i.e. running errands or going grocery shopping–that’s an errand isn’t it?)

It’s not as if I am traveling very much anymore. I hate leaving the house most days and I have never been a party goer. Still, if only I filled in a nifty little planner my life would feel more chic yes? No, not really. It would still be the same life just in writing.

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Royalty Free photo from

One of my best friends keeps telling me to get out the house more. She holds hope that I will meet a man who will sweep me off my feet but to do that I have to get out more (that’s what she said). My mom told me she’s right. So I asked my mom what she did when she moved to a big city from a small town even though my situation is reverse. She told me she went out. She went to clubs, and she went to Leo’s that had entertainers who came to sing and you could dance. It’s like, um…there’s no place to go here. It’s not like I live near a really great city or the mountains or an art district…there’s nothing here so why waste my time going out when there is nowhere to go? Gas is not cheap you know.

I have thought for a long time that I would be able to get out of here which is part of the reason I haven’t made friends here. Only part of the reason because the other reason is not going out anywhere…that and the places I have to go aren’t places I want to make friends at.

To me life as I know it isn’t boring; it’s comfortable and it’s safe. I don’t have to think about if the place I’m going to is going to get shot up or blown up because I’m not going there. So comfortable and safe is a good thing yes?

Stay Healthy

Musical Hair

I know this isn’t fitness, nutrition or health (well we could probably find a way to make it fit) however I am sharing the link anyway.

I was trying to catch up on the channels I watch while dinner cooks in the slow cooker and I finally made my way to Chime’s site. I just had to share this video because I like the music. Oh, the styles are cute too, but I really like the music :). It kind of makes me want to put on makeup and go out someplace sexy like a museum. Hmm…music really is my greatest passion and it always inspires something within me. Next time I hear the song it might make me think of something else.

You can find the Fan Bun and Accessorized Side bun in the 2 Natural Hairstyles video.

Stay Beautiful

Fitness for Free

Okay, let’s get back to the fitness part of my month of fitness, nutrition and health posts. I went to bed thinking about this. I’m not kidding. I crawled into bed thinking about working out. No; I did not get out of bed to write about it or workout but since it was on my mind when I went to sleep and still on it when I got up I decided to make today’s post about free workouts for those who cannot join a gym or buy workout videos from the store. Hey, we all have a budget and there are some things that take center stage while others have to take a backseat.

In the effort to not push fitness to the backseat this year please realize YouTube has a lot of free fitness videos. The ones listed below will just help get you started. I have done many of these last year and liked them as an addition to other routines, but many of them can be used as standalone as well.


Relaxing Yoga pose

Hamstring Harmony

Tight Hips

Yoga Routine for Beginners

Love Handles

Leaner Legs

Intense Cardio Pt 1

Intense Cardio Pt 2

Clearly I like the Tara Stiles yoga on YouTube as I have tried mostly all of them–but not all of them. There are so many more on her playlist but these can get you started and you can pick others if you would prefer to work other areas of your body.


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Afrobeat HIIT Dance Workout

There are other workouts on the playlist and she also covers nutrition and weight loss, maintaining weight, etc. I have only done a couple of hers because I have other cardio workouts I like to do offline, but if it’s raining outside, you just don’t feel like going out there, or you would like to workout while it’s too dark to go out then this might be something you would like.

Have fun with whatever workouts you decide to do and please remember not to push yourself into injury. Workout paying attention to your body and what it needs, likes, can handle and cannot handle.

Stay Healthy