Yesterday I wrote about people judging people and treating them different based on the clothes they wear. I honestly think we are all guilty of this on some level. But today I am going to take a look at the discrimination based on weight, how it impacts dating and sometimes friendships.
The Great Weight Debate
I have never been overweight, but I have been closer to my highest end of healthy. Now, I am at the closest I should get to my healthy weight lower limit and I do face other people’s judgmental arguments.
When I hear women who are upset because they are being judged on their weight, fat—skinny—or anything in between, I understand their words in an empathetic way instead of just a sympathetic one.
The Man Won’t Want You
I was privy to a conversation the other day that if you will need to lose weight, wear dresses, nail polish and makeup to get a man to like you (want to go out with you and marry you). They said, “men are visual creatures,” as if visual is all a man has. I am not a man so I cannot personally attest to their ability to think with their northern head here, but the men I knew were more obsessed with religious standing than the art of perfection in weight (not that they weren’t into looks too, it just wasn’t at the top of their list). I was blessed because I grew up around good people and did not go through a lot of the crap behavior I see other women lamenting about online.
That being said, I think if a person does not know you then there has to be some physical spark—an attraction that makes them want to move their feet your way and actually say something to you. Let’s face it, marriage should be lifelong and if you have to have sex with the person, go to bed with them every night and wake up to them every morning there is going to need to be some physical attraction.
Some people connect at first sight and others after getting to know the person better—there is nothing wrong with either way of connecting.
No matter your weight, or body shape, I think there is a man (or woman) out there for you somewhere.
Humans are not a monolith when it comes to likes and dislikes so it would be impossible to assume that every man only wants one look just like thinking every woman only wants one look.
If you are looking for that special someone to share your life with then stay open to the idea that the “special someone” might not come with the societal stamp of perfection. Always remember that even if you’re not the “ideal” beauty it doesn’t make you worthless or unlovable just the way you are.
Check Out Dress Factor on my Capri Montgomery blog.