If you’re still alive birthdays are a thing that will come and go every year. Birthdays don’t mean anything to me really because we never celebrated them thus making the day like any other day. I do remember as a little girl that my father would bring home a sweater or a teddy bear or something and wake me up night before my birthday–it wasn’t a birthday gift but it was a gift. I figured it was his way of telling me that he remembered that my birthday was tomorrow anyway. Fortunately my parents (who didn’t celebrate anything really) did not just wait for holidays and birthdays to give gifts otherwise there would have been no gifts ever.
This year is a little harder for me though. I haven’t really talked about this because I just haven’t. But what annoys me right now is how people who are decades older than me seem to feel the need to tell me I’m “too old for that now,” “getting old,” etc. This usually comes after pointing out that my life didn’t turn out as planned. It’s like, duh, I know my life didn’t turn out as “I planned” let alone anywhere near how you people thought it would turn out. Getting a degree does not a perfect career make. Yes, I know I got a crappy degree as they tell me this all the time.
So this upcoming birthday is not just another day to me thing as this year (now actually) I can’t stop thinking about all the things I missed and all the things I’ll probably never get to do. Perhaps that’s why I am getting ready to go back to writing in a journal–the perfect place to get out my emotions without being judged for them.
So with another birthday on the horizon I think this year I am going to do something a little different. I don’t know what yet…but…something.
Emotional health is harder to keep on track than physical health–I think so anyway. At least with physical health you can eat better, workout more, cut out the unhealthy stuff and hope your hard work does your body good. Emotional health–not so much.